River

Nia ~ The river that flows to this feeling of bliss:

The fourth principal in the Nia Technique is called FreeDance.  It’s exactly that.  Dancing free.  The Nia Technique has refined this larger concept that is often overwhelming to people who aren’t of a dance background, into an self empowering process that can be learned and practiced.  The results are truly astounding! It provides an opportunity to explore movement and allow a person to connect to their bodies in a way that is real and uplifting.

On Sunday mornings at 10:30am, I teach a Nia class in a beautiful room at The Staircase with huge windows that let the sunlight pour in.  It’s called The Bright Room for that very reason.

I usually arrive early before class so that I have time to myself in this space to meditate both in stillness and/or in movement.  This time to myself rejuvenates me, heals me and inspires me.  I shut off my mind’s chatter.  No judgment.  No criticizing.   I slip into my imagination, I let the music take over and allow myself to surrender.  Freely move and roll in the arms of Mother Earth’s ever lasting hug…Gravity.

I can’t wait for spring’s warmth start kicking in I can get back to dancing outside…ahhhh!

Wind

I’m just going to jump right in here…

Yesterday was my birthday! YAY!  A new year of life, and a shiny new blog!

We’re having crazy winds here as a result of the storm system that has done much damage in Alabama.  My thoughts and prayers to go those folks affected.

But the high winds made me think about one of my personal hero’s (Buster Keaton) and also trigger a moment of personal reflection.  Here is part of the Buster Keaton film “Steamboat Bill Jr.” :

I seriously I love this film. Studied it in school a bit.  Now, I know not everyone can be such a nerd about this kind of stuff…but I’ve learned alot about myself over the years.  For example, I am the kind of person that can go on the Library of Congress website, black out somehow, then wake up 10 days later and produce a vaudeville show.  True story…

But this film I think is symbolic to me right now because I am in the midst of a huge  shift.  Career and personal.   My jobs historically have been contracts, and my latest job was a contract position.  Upon it’s end, I took a chance on myself to take the wheel of this crazy ship and sail it toward working independently.   That’s my fancy way of saying self-employment.  I like my fancy way because I find it more empowering and it’s less scary sounding.

This step to me seems logical because I have grown so used to working hard, never knowing where I’ll end up next and never being in control.  Huh.  Control.  I have a weird relationship with it.  I like control…when I’m the one who has it!   Working independently gives me control, gives me a platform to work hard and yes, still live with the unknown, but at least it will be on my terms.

I’ve finally gathered the guts to trust myself.  Yes, even trust myself enough to fail.  However, that’s where my common sense and optimism kick in.  First, the level of risk I am taking is not more than I feel comfortable with and since I’m not taking on property or debt to do this, I can confidently say that I’m not throwing my family “completely” under the bus.  I’m working with what I’ve got, which is me, so what have I got to loose.

Throw into this whirlwind my joys and challenges as a mother of boy who is extraordinary, feisty, gifted and sadly, feeling broken.  We are working hard to figure out what it is that he needs.  We hope that with as much support we can gather, he can to start feeling better.  It’s going to be  a long process. No answers yet, but so many hard questions.  I need flexibility in order to be truly present for my boy while we figure all this out.  I’ll only find this if I’m calling the shots with my day to day life.

It’s these winds that are terrifying.  The challenges, the unknown.  At the same time I find some of this (the work part at least) exhilarating.  Buster wanders though this film frightened, yet bewildered by the forces beyond his control.  He has many close calls, he slips, he falls, he walks hard against the wind.  All of these things I can relate to right now.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep dancing on the grass, creating a new path for my work in this world and as a mother to a magnificent child.